What does sex have to do with body positivity?

I remember this very specific moment from childhood. I was hanging out with my mom and her best friend. I don’t remember what they were talking about. But I think it was something about weight loss. My mom’s friend, who didn’t know my experience with sexual assault, told us that Oprah said that after being raped as a child she gained weight, purposely. She thought it would protect her from future rapes. My mom’s friend told us that Oprah hated her body, and gaining weight was a punishment. I never found that quote so I don’t know if it’s true. But I don’t need to. I know it’s true.

From being sexually abused as a child, twice, mildly compared to most, I can tell you that it does kill your relationship with your body. You learn to see it as an enemy. Not everyone who has been sexually abused gains weight. Or even hates their body. But I assure you there is a disconnect that happens, between your mind and your body.

I grew up hating my body. I hated that my body was violated. But I also hated feeling bigger than girls. I hated when my mom was mad that we had to buy Old Navy Husky jeans. I hated that she threatened to take me to Sears the next year if I continued to gain weight, because that’s where the big girls shopped. I hated my dad catching me warm up pizza at midnight, and telling me I wasn’t allowed to eat that (mind you, I was 26 years old when that happened).

I also hated that I grew breasts before most girls my age because my teachers shamed my outfits for being…