How I Learned to Walk Away From Guys Who Are Just Not That Into Me

I’ve been on and off Bumble for two years. Mostly off. Mostly because it’s been so hard to find men who are interesting on there. It’s even harder to find a guy who is interested in me. I don’t mean attracted. I mean — a guy who asks me questions, and listens. Pretty simple, but very rare. It’s been next to impossible to find someone like that through online dating apps, so I’ve mostly avoided the app life. Occasionally, I drunk swipe but refrain from sending the first message.

It’s late summer or early fall. I wake up to see a message notification from Bumble, which confuses me because I’ve been avoiding Bumble like a coworker with a cold who refuses to take a sick day. Reading the message, I remember drunk swiping the night before, and apparently, I sent a message to a guy complimenting him on his bio. It was short but very funny. He thanks me and lets me know that he worked hard on it. I’m intrigued and look at his profile, this time sober.

Our banter continues and he asks to hang out, but due to travel schedules, we can’t meet for another two weeks. This is always a risk — to text someone you don’t know for that long without meeting. But it works, we meet, and it’s worth the wait. Our conversation is comfortable. He’s interesting but he asks me questions as well. Just like he did in our text conversations. He’s equal parts smart and socially aware. He’s confident but not arrogant. As the night continues, his humor opens up more, and it’s a level of sarcasm I rarely…