How boudoir photography can be body positive
I know that I have beautiful hair and a pretty face. All that meant though is that when I looked at pictures of myself, I would just stare at the bigger parts (stomach, hips, sometimes arms and legs), just saying to myself, “If only that part could be trimmed down”. I would imagine in my head what I would look like If I could just photoshop that stomach down to be flat and I would revel in how hot I would be.
Here is a list of things I have thought to myself hundreds of times throughout the years:
- I would be so hot if I lost 20 pounds
- I would be so hot once I start working out every day and get cut
- I will be so hot once I do Whole30
- I would be so hot if I lost 40 pounds
- I will be really fucking hot if I do yoga every day for 90 days
- I would be so hot if I lost 60 pounds
- I am going to be so hot once I start doing Orange Theory
My beauty always came with a qualifier. I could not be gorgeous or hot with that stomach. When I was looking at the photos during my shoot, that stomach glared at me. I thought the same thing to myself, “God, I would be so hot if I just didn’t have that”. Mentally taking an eraser to my stomach to trim it down. But I looked so good. I looked so hot. Why did my stomach define my beauty?
I started to think about bodies as geometric shapes. We’ve been told that the white, European woman is the standard of beauty. Historically that means women’s bodies are lean, trim, skinny. In recent years, our society has fetishisized women with big hips and butts, like Queen Bey. This new standard of beauty is far from inclusive or even obtainable. In the wise words of Tina Fey, women are expected to have “long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
While different shapes have started to be seen as beautiful, all of the shapes involve flat tummies and the absence of fat in areas like arms, legs, back, face, neck, etc.
When I started to think about women’s bodies as geometric shapes, I thought how I have a circle on my stomach and the sexy women in magazines, tv, movies have flat lines. Why did the line equate to beauty? Why did the circle mean I was ugly or fat or not enough? Why did this difference in shape stop me from fully loving my body?
Thinking about bodies as shapes made me realize that there was no logic to my thinking of “I would be so hot if….”. There was nothing stopping me from being hot now. It was just my belief that flat line = hot. It’s not true. All shapes are hot. They’re just lines.
I was so tempted to hate the photos Anessa took of me showing my stomach. But I thought that would be a waste of experience and money. I leaned into it. I took photos in just my underwear and bra, showing all of my rolls. I felt beautiful. I was beautiful. I am beautiful.
If you are considering doing a boudoir photoshoot, do it. Don’t think about it. It is 100% worth it. And you are beautiful.
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